Sunday, May 5, 2024

May 5 - The Campfire Trail - The Adults In The Room

May 5, 2024

Day 947 of the Adventure

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For the past few days, I've been uploading recordings of some of the music made by the old bluegrass band I was a member of when younger. It's been a couple of years since I've played much music and this project has been full of rich memories for me. Our band was formed when I was probably 16 years of age. The other three members were Bob Quillen, Jack Ferguson and his wife Joyce. All of which were in their 40's at the time. With that much of an age gap, it's only natural that as I am now in my early 60's, they have all passed from this life. Listening to the music we made back then was very bittersweet for me. These friends to me, were the "Adults in the Room" when I was growing from my teens into adulthood myself. As a band, we were busy continually. Learning new material, rehearsing it over and over and over until we had confidence in our ability to perform it before an audience. We traveled together, laughed together and basically did life together for years. Even after Shelley and I got married and had kids, we were all an extended sort of family. In some ways, I was intercepted out of my high school interaction and had it replaced with adult interaction. This was true with almost every area of life. Our typical routine as a band, was practice on Tuesday night, pack up Thursday for the next road trip somewhere to play a show. Take off of work (or school in my case) on Friday to head to our next performance. We would play a Friday night set, a Saturday afternoon and evening set, then a Sunday morning set before packing up and heading back home. Usually arriving home too late to do anything but go to bed. It was an adult business, with adult schedules, responsibilities and expectations. For every hour of performance, we had an investment of probably 12-15 hours-worth of preparation and travel. It was certainly not the only influence that was ushering me into becoming an adult, but it was a significant one. I walked my way into being an adult beside those who had been there a while. Even as a teen, I quickly began to relate better to adults than I did others my age. The fact is, my tribe had changed to the point I had trouble staying focused enough to finish school. Finishing wasn't the problem. I had enough credits to graduate a year and a half early. I had somehow missed a required class that kept me in for my entire senior year. No, the problem was sticking with it while being ready to get on with life. 

Bob, Jack and Joyce were the "Adults in the Room" at that age of my life. Certainly not to minimize the influence of my parents. The roles are just a little different having adult parents vs adult peers. I appreciate it more now than I did then. As I think about it, I wonder if I've been that to anyone in my circle of influence. I hope I have, but honestly, I'm not sure. Perhaps I'm comparing a different type of experience to that of my early life in a band which included real adults. Nevertheless, I believe it's a worthy goal and responsibility to become the adult in the room for others when they are ready for and in need of one. I suppose one prerequisite to being the "adult" is that we all decide that it's necessary to actually become an adult ourselves at some point, At least at some point before we can be one to someone else. Give it some consideration. Have you become that "Adult" in someone else's world?

Carry On

Adventure Quote:  “Our power lies in our small daily choices, one after another, to create eternal ripples of a life well lived.” ― Mollie Marti

Base Camp Coffee of the Day: Lost in the Fog (Guatemala Decaf)

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